I offered the following suggestions for edit.

Hello, I’m (insert first name only). I’ve spent most of my career within the NHS as a lead Physiotherapist in community rehabilitation. I started my own practice to bring my skills and experience into your home. My aim is to have a positive impact on people’s lives, wherever it’s most needed.

Call to action amended:

Talk to us.

Footer:

M.Sc. is needlessly written twice.

The above was gratefully accepted and amended before going to print.

As a community Physiotherapist myself, I knew exactly who the target audience was. I flew through this one. No research necessary. So my client gladly heard my one-penneth, for what it was worth (turned out to be three-penneth).

• This is not aimed at the audience - the information is about the business owner.

• Tone of voice therefore doesn’t sit right.

• No description of what a community physiotherapist is, nor how it works.

• No service benefits listed.

• The testimonial to the left is not representative of the target patient.

• On further look, the social media accounts were not ready. A means of contact, but no details about the business.

Lots of cool stuff to work on, but so worth it for this brand new start-up.

All the best to you, Mr A Nonymous.